Research, rocks, and solutions

My stomach aching for the past few days.
Internet connection so annoying today.
A Totally sucks day!

Back the the Project Prelude, after weeks of unproductive outcome I’ve finally send the framework to my friend. I’ve been struggling due to my crabbiness in programming. When I do more research on this topic, I getting anxious and full of doubt in my mind. I starting wondering if my decision is right and if there are other things that I’ve left out.

Doing a research is crucial before doing anything. However when you started to know more and more about the thing,you may found out that you’re so limited in that field. I believe research is a continuous progress before,during and after an idea is took into consideration. Then what will you do when obstacles show up and say a big NO NO to you? Decisioning issue again for me. Should I ignore it, modified my idea, or terminate it before it is too late? Perhaps we need some luck after all.

In this Project Prelude, I admit that I do not give my full effort on it and I’m sorry. This lesson gave a clear reflect of my weaknesses. When I deal with uncertainty, I always have this 2 behaviors:
1. Act like being drugged, non-stop trying, believe in my ways and do not care the outcome most of the time.

However the world do not runs like this, the outcomes always contradict to your effort, people only cares about your result no matter how much effort you out on it, you feel unfair and envy… When you fall, you tell yourself it doesn’t matter to you, then you fall again, then you say to yourself: I’ve learn the lesson, then you fall again and again…One day start to doubt about yourself…you wondering around to find your answer from religious, great man talks, history, and so on…and you still can’t find it…then you start to believe in fate…

2. Slowly I began to use my little smart to do my things. Wow! Amazingly most of the time I get increditable outcome even I put little effort on thing. I try many creative ways to solve problems, like to challenge those old fashion ways, sometimes even so aggressive in my ways. While I enjoying this little smart, I lost my patient and temper without a sign…and this endanger me now…and I know I’ve to change it asap.

Kinda out of the topic again. In this project even I know there’s too much things that I don’t know and unable solve it for now, I believe that I still have to move on. The road is made of rocks and walking on rocky roads is more comfortable than driving. Slowing down may not good in today’s world but putting real effort rather than taking advantage is even more important sometimes, especially for my generation (80s).Wow! I can’t believe that I came out with this speech.